To not feel you near is the worst feeling in the world. And it's not something that anyone can understand unless they know you. My soul aches and groans, mostly because I'm the one who pushes you away. Then when I don't feel you, all that's left is emptiness and pain. And it's not guilt. I know what choices I've made. It's a tearing between flesh and spirit and damnit, it hurts. It's my own desire to compromise that inevitably breaks me in two. Sometimes I wish for this to be over, that I may simply be with you. I'm so far from home.
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